My novitiate in the Philippines was one of the happiest moments in my religious life as an Hija de Jesus. It was an experience of a universal family with sisters from different cultures, distinct languages, and varied backgrounds. Yet, it was a meaningful encounter of growing in the union of hearts as a fraternal community called by God. From my sisters, I learned a lot about myself, my gifts, and my limitations.

Prayer has helped me grow in my relationship with Jesus. This has been my strength, especially in difficult moments. The daily examen is also an important help to see how God works in my daily ordinary life.

After my first profession on June 29th Feast of Saints Peter and Paul, I stayed with the Sisters of Mater Dei, the Provincial House of Indico-Pacific Province. I had English classes and computer lessons with Dr. Deng, a lay collaborator at Manresa Retreat House. During my one-month stay there, I was given an opportunity to have an eight-day psycho-spiritual healing retreat with Sr. Aida, FI. It was a beautiful experience of loving reconciliation from within and a felt knowledge of God’s unconditional love for me. I was able to discover with joy from the heart that I am a daughter, a child of a caring Father whose presence has always been there wherever I am even far away from my family. It is a joy to become aware of my identity as a “daughter of Jesus.” I am not perfect, and everything is a gift. For this, I am truly grateful.

On August 10, I traveled back to Indonesia, my country of origin. I felt excited to meet my new community and to visit my family whom I had not seen for four years. I was afraid to travel alone but God took care of me for I met many people who helped me along the way, even carrying my big luggage. It was certainly a feeling of great joy to arrive safely in Ruteng, Indonesia, and to be with my new community.

If I focus on myself, I worry. It’s my country, yet many things are new for me – the place, my community, my university, my studies. But trusting the Lord assures me to live day by day, one step at a time. I have looked forward to visiting my family which is still a 3-hour travel from our convent.

It was a great blessing to see my family after four years. They prepared my favorite dishes with coconut milk. With my father, I visited the tomb of my ancestors, offering prayers and lighting candles. It was an emotional, joyful, and comforting family reunion – a reminder of many people significant in my life. I was not able to see some of my sisters as they were working outside my hometown. But we were able to have a video chat, and it was heartwarming.

At present, I am enrolled in a private university – STIPAS St. Sirilus Ruteng, a 15-minute walk from our community. I will try to study well for the sake of the mission. It is my dream to teach young children one day and like M. Candida be able to bring Jesus to them. M. Candida is like a “mother” to me, caring and supporting me in my everyday endeavors. She consoles me and guides me to grow in my vocation as an Hija de Jesus. I could not imagine that I was the first Indonesian Junior sister of the Hijas de Jesus Congregation.

Oftentimes, I wonder, and ask myself, who am I to be called on this path? I am surprised yet, I am touched by God’s plan. With his grace and love, little by little I move forward. I do not know what the future will be, all the same, it is a call to trust more in the Lord. Many people, many events, many experiences – everything shaped me to become who I am now, and I embrace with thankfulness my heart’s desire to become a true Hija de Jesus.

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- Sr. Emerensiana Damur, FI. Online Interview by Sr. Nori Marquez, FI. Indonesia. September 12, 2024.